by Alex Brown
Director of Operations
A2L Consulting

My oldest daughter is a volunteer for our local congressman. At dinner last night she heard some quotes from a current presidential candidate and proceeded to excoriate them. Usually I toss in the old adage “If you can’t say something nice, just don’t say anything.” This time I didn’t and instead talked to her about our 16^th president.

Many of you might know the story of Lincoln’s Letter to General Meade. On July 4, 1863, Lincoln realized that Confederate General Robert E. Lee was trapped between the Potomac River and a fast-moving Union Army behind him, and sent an order to General George Meade to move in for the kill and end the war. Instead, Meade held a war council and got multiple points of view. While he was doing so, Lee was able to escape over the Potomac with his soldiers. Lincoln was furious. He wrote a letter calling out Meade for his stupidity and lack of fortitude and questioning his ability to command. We will never know Meade’s reaction because Lincoln never sent the message. Instead, he thought about things from Meade’s perspective, and the fact that they had just finished a bloody battle in Gettysburg and how that might have affected Meade’s willingness to engage at a random location with so many variables. Lincoln also realized that dressing down his general would do nothing to help morale and would not change what had already happened.

Lincoln gave us the perfect example of how to be a communicator. This is a lesson that we should reinforce in everything we do. We should be aware of these lessons when we are dealing with witnesses, experts, jury, judge and even support personnel and litigation consultants. You are always being watched, and people will always judge you on how you act with those you meet.

What are the keys to communication?

1. Listening. We all know what proactive listening is. The key to active listening is not just hearing the words, but also visualizing the concepts of what is being said and seeing the non-verbal cues. Basically, it’s listening with all your senses. Stephen Covey wrote a great little book called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (you can read it in one sitting). His breakdown of listening fits in 5 buckets.
   
   
   1. Ignoring
   2. Pretending
   3. Selective Hearing
   4. Attentive Listening
   5. Empathic Listening

We all should aim for empathic listening. You need to use your senses when communicating so you know how to respond to keep people engaged. The litigation graphics you use, for example, go a long way to keep people engaged in court.

2. Remember their name. I walk into my bank and when the teller remembers my name, I automatically feel more comfortable. I am sure everyone has had a similar experience. Communication is a two-way street; you can do everything right but the message will still not be received. Doing anything to reduce negativity increases positives. As Dale Carnegie wrote: “Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
   
   
3. Make them feel important. I have talked about Robert Cialdini before, because his outline on communication is one of the purest examples of how to influence people. When they feel important and empowered, people will be more engaged. He suggests two things: give honest compliments, and ask for their advice. I am not suggesting empty platitudes but a compliment as simple as acknowledging a good point made.
   
   
4. Focus on similarities. People gravitate toward others whom they perceive as similar to them. Going back to Cialdini’s 6 principles of persuasion, people want to connect with other people; it is how we are wired. Find similarities so others can feel connected and have a higher comfort level with you. They will be more engaged and receptive to your points.
   
   
5. Let them talk. This is less about juries and more about everyone else, but according to a study done at Harvard, bragging affects the same pleasure center of your brain that is stimulated by money and food. So much so, that it can become addictive. Use your active listening skills and have them talk about themselves and their interests. It will engage them and make them open to your influence.

So when communication is key, and things are getting a bit stressful, ask yourself: “What would Lincoln do?”

Other articles about communication, persuasion, leadership, and influencing others from A2L Consulting:

• Using Visual Persuasion to Emotionally Move Your Audience
• How to Apply Cialdini's 6 Principles of Persuasion in the Courtroom
• A Harvard Psychologist Writes About Presenting to Win
• [New Webinar] 5 Ways to Maximize Persuasion During Opening Statements
• Storytelling for Litigators E-Book 3rd Ed.
• How Creative Collaboration Can Help a Litigation Team
• SPICE Is the Key to Persuasion
• Don't Use PowerPoint as a Crutch in Trial or Anywhere
• Are You Smarter Than a Soap Opera Writer?
• Litigator & Litigation Consultant Value Added: A "Simple" Final Product
• 14 Differences Between a Theme and a Story in Litigation
• Conflict Check: Interested in hiring A2L? You're not alone.
• Storytelling Proven to be Scientifically More Persuasive
• Don't be another timeline lawyer - tell a story
• 7 Things You Never Want to Say in Court
• 9 Things I’ve Noticed About Effective Litigation Graphics After 20 Years as a Litigator
• 5 Essential Elements of Storytelling and Persuasion
• 5 Keys to Telling a Compelling Story in the Courtroom
• Why Trial Graphics are an Essential Persuasion Tool for Litigators